Osama bin Laden Movie Review

So, I signed up on facebook last week after almost a year of continuous bombardment from friends and relations. Glad I did. Nice little site, and a nice way to keep in touch. Anyways, I stumbled upon the movie review application, so I quickly reviewed a bunch of films in my typical sarcastic way, when looking through the news, noticed that our good buddy Osama has released his own cinematographic epic.

I figure that I'll give my take on his latest offering. Tentatively entitled, "Convert ye masses, lest ye be killed, and oh yeah, capitalism sucks" that hit the theaters world wide this week.With a team of the finest make-up crews, Osama appears youthful and swarthy, his 0.4m long usually "salt and peppered" beard dyed a deep, rich black. He sits calmly and confidently in this feature film, wearing a white shirt and yellow shawl, that costume designer Alijjiba Majinniiyad made from Osama's wardrobe further conveyed the upbeat message of mandatory religious conversion and rejoicing in the failure of the Western World possible. The set director, Hafaad Hunnaji, bravely chose a "brownish" background to complement the overall message and tone of the film. Almost in spite of these memorizing special effects, the words of Osama really hit a powerful note, mostly underlining the evils of capitalism. Problematic in the plot, is the fact that his entire fortune was derived from capitalism, implicating himself. Nevertheless, Osama recovers from this oversight expertly by simply not mentioning that aspect. A true mature actor's ability to overcome the obvious hurdle showed a near Academy Awards performance. Special mention must be made to the lighting crew, who chose a "minimalist" subject in the lens obscura, dismissing past "film noir" qualities of Osama's last offering, "the October 2004 tape". From the position of the viewer, the well diffused lighting came from a series of incandescent and florescent bulbs, (25 watt former, and the 17 watt super saver types of the latter type), bringing out the rich olive, tan beige, yellow, white and the previously mentioned "brownish" hues evident in this film.

The Soundtrack of this film, a disjointed "voice-over", seemed to be the weakest part of this already earmarked classic. Several moments of voice did not coincide with the movement of Osama's mouth, indicating further need for improvement. During the advanced screening "post interview", Osama simply made an off camera gesture of a finger dragged across his neck when asked if he planned on using the same sound crew for his next eagerly anticipated film. His current crew could not be reached for comment, their feet being held to furnace heated irons.

To summarize, Osama has once again proven that he is more entertaining than ever, at the top of his game and relevant to his cause, to beat both Big and Little Satan. His offer for the world, and especially American's to "convert to Islam" proves his realistic short term objectives, and the aforementioned diatribe against the evils of capitalism come at a timely moment in history, when everyone is looking for communism and despotism to answer the needs of the workers of the world. 4.5/5 stars.

A new addition to our home

Well, we were out the door for our exams this morning after a 3 day tropical storm, and we find this little guy in the driveway in a cold dirty puddle. So, we took him in and cleaned him up and now we have a 2lb liability on our hands. I have several urgent emails with pictures out to a) identify and b) get rid of him safely. A pet like this is a lifelong commitment, and if he is wild, I would like to return him to what is is supposed to be doing. here is my email going out....



example:
Date: Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:14:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joaquin
Subject: Hello
To: mconnor@tortoise.org

I live in the Philippines as a student. I have come across a 2 lb turtle this morning after a large 3 day tropical storm and took him in. He was sitting in a busy cold wet driveway (air temperature was about 50-60 degrees overnight in a dirty pool of water.) He will stick his head out on occasion, and has moved around in the shower stall to seek shelter under the curtain. I put down newspaper, and some tomatoes and banana. I think he took a few nibbles of the banana. I need to know what kind of habitat I should prepare for him. If I had to guess, I would say he was not from here. Baguio City is a highly urbanized city with an elevation of about 3,000 feet, but of course, I don't really know for sure. He has a single yellow stripe on his/her head. I have looked at you gallery, but nothing seems to be an "aha!" type.

Any help would be appreciated. I have sent a few pics. He/she looks to have had some run ins with local dogs judging by his broken shell near his left rear leg, but maybe not recently, as he has no injury that I can see on his/her legs or whatnot.

Thanks so much,

Joaquin, Karen, and "Henry/Henrietta"





We need to quickly find out if he is terrestrial, aquatic or terrestrial/aquatic. We are praying for terrestrial, and local. If so, he will be on his way after a belly full of worms and bananas.

Warning

If you think potty humor is not for you, don't link to my latest offering, www.poopreport.com. This is perhaps the funniest site I have ever read. If you think you might find it funny, check it out. It is fascinating how many people are completely involved with their digestive system or as some call it on the web-site "The Hunt For Brown October"...LOL

Funny weird and "haha"

Ok, there have been some strange things that I have not seen before happen here in Manila. About two weeks ago, Karen and I were in a taxi on our way home. Karen yells “Holy crap, she’s naked!” I start looking around, and then I see that right in the middle of the street, a woman of about 45 is running down the street naked. She was totally normal looking, healthy, hair combed and clean. Her expression was like, ‘I am running for exercise”. We just kept on going. We still laugh about it. Also, we were eating in a restaurant a few days ago and next to us, a family sat down to eat. A girl about 20 leaned over and bit her boyfriend on the ear. He flipped out and grabbed her hand and smacked it a few times. They both started crying. Everyone just kept on eating their lunch not even really reacting to it, so as not to lose face. After ten to fifteen excruciating minutes they seemed to make up, so we left, show’s over.

Something else is real funny too. Karen and I were staying over at her Uncle Mike’s (does everyone have an Uncle Mike?) house and as is the accepted custom I assumed, men are often shirtless in the Barangays (neighborhoods). Mike has four kids, mostly very behaved aged 2-12. (the one that acts up the most, Joevic, is a chip off the old block, as the explanation was given to me.) Mika, the 2 year old, was just starting to warm up to me, showing off her Spongebob Squarepants plush toy and backpack. As it was hot, I casually pulled off my shirt, not knowing that the kids are unaccustomed to body hair, of which I certainly have my share. Mika came walking by and as she turned to be, totally “double-taked”, and then with eyes real big and out of the sides, kept walking until she had reached the safety of her mother. Ever since that day, Mika has been apprehensive in coming close to me, even with a shirt on. I think they tease her when she is fussing or acting up with a “You better be good, or Kulya Joaquin will get mad at you” or even worse “If you don’t behave, you will have to kiss Kulya Joaquin” (that one ALWAYS quiets her down.)